Neurodiversity Week Write up: Story#1
Published: 17 March 2025
Raising a child with ADHD/ADD
Navigating everyday life as a parent is not always an easy task, but navigating a routine morning with our neurodivergent daughter is an exercise in discipline, love, and reward that I never thought I’d experience.
Wake up at 6:40. Shower at 6:42. First warning that her sister needs the bathroom soon at 6:48 (generally met with protests that she hasn’t washed the backs of her knees or her wrists yet). Out of the shower at 6:50. And so on. And so on.
Every morning, every minute is counted. Every minute that’s off is a potential mine in an infinite minefield that can lead to a complete breakdown. It’s routine now, to the point that as parents, we barely have to look at the time to know what time it is. It’s not rare to be tired and feel like a nap is needed before telling her to get her coat on for the car ride to school (7:23am).
That’s the pragmatic, practical glimpse into the life of parents with a neurodivergent child. Parenting is never easy, but with ADHD/ADD along for the ride, it’s like cranking the degree of difficulty up a couple extra notches. And she’s 9, so it’s far from over. This is a lifelong process.
But there’s another side.
There’s the kid that feels emotions so hard that her body literally vibrates when she hugs you. There are the sweet notes to her sister, the silly games she makes up on car rides to keep her active mind focused. When things go right, they go really right. Those are the days we live for. When we’re out in public and she feels the need to proclaim that you’re the best parents ever at the top of her lungs, or when she’s laughing so hard at her own joke that she loses her breath. When she and her sister are celebrating little victories in video games, or curled up together on the couch watching a movie because she can’t bear to have space between them. All her emotions and feelings are turned up to 11, including the good ones. The kid experiences levels of fun, excitement, and happiness that are as deep and all-consuming as the anger and frustration. And those moments are beautiful.
And with the work we’re putting in, we’re starting to see more good days than bad now. She’s learning to remove herself from situations where she’s frustrated. The victories started out small, but there have been a few major victories too. Every day is a potential minefield, but we’re starting to see hope that maybe someday soon, it’ll get easy.
Raising a child with ADHD/ADD is 100% a full-time job, as it is with any child. The hours suck, and the pay is even worse. The stark reality is resources are expensive and sometimes difficult to co-ordinate. We’re lucky to have a school staff that recognizes this and works hard to help. I can’t imagine doing this as a single parent or without the school and after-school activity staff on board. It takes a village with every child, but what we ask of the village is even more with a neurodivergent child. To everyone facing the same struggles, know that the help does exist, and there are others who really do understand what you’re going through. Prepare for the challenging moments but live for the good ones!
This piece is submitted by a Xerox Employee in the US Office.
https://www.neurodiversityweek.com/
Neurodiversity Week 17 – 23 March 2025
